sing me something soft

i never meant to be an annoyance.
i guess im still just a little girl
with horrible ideas.

my night consisted of..
talking windows.
growling basements.
possessed dogs.
no tv.
late hours.
no radio.
and flying objects.
what a crazy night.

im sad.
8 months today, well would have been.
:(
gun?

today a semi ran a red light.
about 10 feet from hitting my car, on my side.
the first thing i thought of was i wish i had pulled out 3 seconds later.

i hate the fact that i:
can't stand up for myself.
can't take a compliment if my life depended on it.
can't sing a single note but still pretend i can.
try so hard but succeed at nothing.
have no self confidence.
worry about the smallest things.
like to fight.
feel like i am screaming, but heard as a mute.
have something good, but still want better.
can't understand my own thoughts or feelings.
wish i lived in a hole.

<3

party oct. 21 come.

movie night??
saturday night??
after zoomvoodoo..

this is really sad.
it's 6 27 am.
and i am ready for school.
my alarm clock got confused this morning and woke me up at 5.
and of course i didn't sleep well so immediately woke to the sound and couldn't fall back asleep.

lammee